HARRY PUDDER IN THE GRYFFIN-WHORE

Hermione has found a time turner in the office, and investigating the reasons behind this forbidden offense is making her very stressed. She just needs to relax, she claims, and thinking what you had poured into a cup was tea, she mistakenly drinks veritas serum. This liquid honesty works almost immediately, too, and Hermione suddenly opens up about her crush on you, the love letters she never sent you, and just how horny you've made her feel all these years. Don't worry, Ron doesn't have to know about this; this is your little secret.